AN ADULT CHILD'S GUIDE TO WHAT'S "NORMAL"

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This book is the practical, handy, infinitely readable guide to troubleshooting problems and struggles that face us all. Each chapter is 2-4 pages long, and each covers a common issue such as setting boundaries, taking care of self, identifying and responding well to shame, etc. It is the kind of book that you can flip through at your leisure, or pick up when faced with a knotty problem that is keeping you stuck. It is still one of the most popular self-help books on the market.

Chapter Listing

THE ROAD TO BEING FUNCTIONAL

1. Sixty-Five Characteristics of Adult-Children Becoming Functional

2. How To Use This Book

3. From Shame and Blame To Respect and Healthy Love

4. Caught In A Trap Or Living A Life

5. Basic Principles Of Functional Living

INTERLUDE

6. The Wisdom of the Bear

GETTING UNHOOKED

7. Where's the Manual For This Family?

(Overt and Covert Rules)

8. Unhooking Pointers

TAKING CARE OF THE ONE WHO'S IN CHARGE

9. Feelings (What Am I Feeling?)

10. Accept the Unexpected

11. When I'm Lonely

12. All Stressed Out With Nowhere To Go

13. This, Too, Shall Pass (When You're Having A Bad Day)

14. Play: Celebrating Our Spirit and Our Humaneness

15. On Rejection

16. Be Kind To Yourself

17. Journaling: Make It For You and Make It Safe

18. May God Hold You in the Palm of His Hand

YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK (SOMETIMES)

19. Perfectionism: The 20% Mess-up Factor and the Epitaph Test

20. When To Let Go and When To Fight

21. The Myth of Permanence

22. Lay Down and Die/Sue the Bastards

23. I Can Work This Out Myself

24. You Mean I Have Choices?

25. Just Because You Believe It Doesn't Make It Real

INTERLUDE

26. The Otters

BOUNDARIES: GETTING TRICKED, STAYING CLEAR

27. Re-Enactments: History Does Repeat Itself

28. Abused by an Eyebrow

29. Some Shaming Statements to Watch For

30. When People Say Inappropriate or Abusive Things To Me

31. Get an Answering Machine

32. Uninvited Guests

33. Combating the "Gotcha Syndrome" I: Why Didn't I See That One Coming?

34. Combating the "Gotcha Syndrome" II: I'll Think About It and Let You Know Tomorrow

35. Confronting Those Crazy Cons (Fool Me Once...)

36. Confronting Those Crazy Cons: What To Do or Say

WANTING LOVE BUT TIRED OF THE PAIN

37. Is Co-dependency Something New?

38. Caring Without Being Co-dependent

39. How Do I End This Relationship?

40. What Couples Fight About and How They Resolve It

41. Sex

42. Breaking Out Of the Owe/Pay Syndrome

43. What Is a Healthy Friendship I: It Takes All Kinds

44. What Is a Healthy Friendship II: Those Close Friendships

45. Ask For What You Need (They Aren't Mind Readers)

46. How Does This Relationship Feel?

47. The Error of Narcissism (They Don't Brag About Their Kids or Make You Watch slides of Their Vacation)

SOME FAMILY STUFF

48. If You Pity Your Parents, You Have Been Abused By Them

49. What Is a Functional Family?

50. From Holiday Horrors to Happy Holy Days

51. My Kids Don't Help Around the House

52. What to Expect From Your Teenagers

53. How Much Do I Tell My Kids?

54. When My Teenager is Going To Have a Baby

55. Those In-Laws!

56. What To Expect When Our Parents Grow Old

POSTLUDE

57. The Bear: Continued

MOVING ON INTO LIFE

58. There Is No Failure