THE ROAD TO BEING FUNCTIONAL
1. Sixty-Five Characteristics of Adult-Children Becoming Functional
2. How To Use This Book
3. From Shame and Blame To Respect and Healthy Love
4. Caught In A Trap Or Living A Life
5. Basic Principles Of Functional Living
INTERLUDE
6. The Wisdom of the Bear
GETTING UNHOOKED
7. Where's the Manual For This Family?
(Overt and Covert Rules)
8. Unhooking Pointers
TAKING CARE OF THE ONE WHO'S IN CHARGE
9. Feelings (What Am I Feeling?)
10. Accept the Unexpected
11. When I'm Lonely
12. All Stressed Out With Nowhere To Go
13. This, Too, Shall Pass (When You're Having A Bad Day)
14. Play: Celebrating Our Spirit and Our Humaneness
15. On Rejection
16. Be Kind To Yourself
17. Journaling: Make It For You and Make It Safe
18. May God Hold You in the Palm of His Hand
YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK (SOMETIMES)
19. Perfectionism: The 20% Mess-up Factor and the Epitaph Test |
20. When To Let Go and When To Fight
21. The Myth of Permanence
22. Lay Down and Die/Sue the Bastards
23. I Can Work This Out Myself
24. You Mean I Have Choices?
25. Just Because You Believe It Doesn't Make It Real
INTERLUDE
26. The Otters
BOUNDARIES: GETTING TRICKED, STAYING CLEAR
27. Re-Enactments: History Does Repeat Itself
28. Abused by an Eyebrow
29. Some Shaming Statements to Watch For
30. When People Say Inappropriate or Abusive Things To Me
31. Get an Answering Machine
32. Uninvited Guests
33. Combating the "Gotcha Syndrome" I: Why Didn't I See That One Coming?
34. Combating the "Gotcha Syndrome" II: I'll Think About It and Let You Know Tomorrow
35. Confronting Those Crazy Cons (Fool Me Once...)
36. Confronting Those Crazy Cons: What To Do or Say
WANTING LOVE BUT TIRED OF THE PAIN
37. Is Co-dependency Something New?
38. Caring Without Being Co-dependent
39. How Do I End This Relationship? |
40. What Couples Fight About and How They Resolve It
41. Sex
42. Breaking Out Of the Owe/Pay Syndrome
43. What Is a Healthy Friendship I: It Takes All Kinds
44. What Is a Healthy Friendship II: Those Close Friendships
45. Ask For What You Need (They Aren't Mind Readers)
46. How Does This Relationship Feel?
47. The Error of Narcissism (They Don't Brag About Their Kids or Make You Watch slides of Their Vacation)
SOME FAMILY STUFF
48. If You Pity Your Parents, You Have Been Abused By Them
49. What Is a Functional Family?
50. From Holiday Horrors to Happy Holy Days
51. My Kids Don't Help Around the House
52. What to Expect From Your Teenagers
53. How Much Do I Tell My Kids?
54. When My Teenager is Going To Have a Baby
55. Those In-Laws!
56. What To Expect When Our Parents Grow Old
POSTLUDE
57. The Bear: Continued
MOVING ON INTO LIFE
58. There Is No Failure |